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Re: Gay Bears & Their Admirers Get Slammed: "Fat Guys That Call Themselves 'Bears'"


I am the strongman who made the comment

I don't know. Thats different because its males hitting on women. Even if its unwanted, its not the same. In this case its big hairy men stalking in shape or men who workout, and I think although funny, realistically its sickening.

I guess it would be the equivalent of attractive women being stalked by an obese hairy lesbian... These "bears" are worse because they are blatently sexual and they say things that a normal person wouldn't say to a person they were attracted to.






I think it's only fair to defend my board, strongman and clarify the situation.

The reason I said it's the equivalent of "attractive women" is not because I am "in love with myself" as someone mentioned. If you took the time to read the post that I quoted it clearly said, this is what "hot" women go through every day. So this is what I was referring to, not in love with myself.

No one over at Marunde hates gay men. What you guys may not know about Strongman is its family oriented, and I have seen homosexual competitors, NO ONE CARES< everyone is very accepting. You see the majority of us are just fine with homosexuals and many of us have friends and are not discriminatory in any way shape or form.

The reason I am clarifying my post, is because in reading what I typed it does sound ignorant in my realization that all of you guys aren't this way,and I put it out there like you all are, so I am sorry.

On the other hand, to be honest with you, the 5-10 attempted "adds" I get per week from Bears and Homosexual men, several of them accompanied by a message such as "id love to suck your nipples", I would like to put my tongue in your asshole, "I can only imagine what your dick looks like" those are the messages I personally regularly see on my Facebook and MySpace accounts. I personally find it beyond disrespectful coming from a man or woman.

I know that several strongman have experienced this...So that's kind of the general consensus we are getting, because thats all we know and are aware of unfortunately for you guys.

  But you guys are right, my post was out of line, because Im sure you are not all that way. Im sure there are plenty of decent "bears".

Strongman is a family, and Marunde Muscle was started by Jesse Marunde, a Pro Strongman who passed away. A born again Christian and very non judgemental person. He would not want negative connotation to his site, and the fact that my Post was part of it...I sincerely apologize.

Furthermore, strongman may be strong, but that doesn't mean we are violent and want to kick the asses of people who make these comments, or would ever raise a hand to anyone. Most strongmen are professionals and have families, and kids myself included.

 If I see a picture of myself, or a strongman does with sexually explicit messages, am I upset?? Sure. Does stuff happen? Yes, we aren't that weak and insensitive. HOWEVER, we want RESPECT, and talking about us or taking our pics without permission and then making obscene comments about them is part of the issue strongman have. Some strongman could give two damns at the same time. It has NOTHING to do with your sexuality. If women posted my picture on a Female site and made comments, very detailed comments on how they would like to suck my dick and finger my ass. I would be super offended likewise. I have a family and daughter, I dont want that bullshit anywhere and neither do the rest of the strongmen.

Long story short, please understand that as you guys want respect, we do too.

I appreciate the posts and some of the members here who were very reasonable...Alot of you guys were non-judgemental and I can appreciate that.

No one condones gay bashing on our site. But as we all know freedom of speech and opinion reigns. Not everyone here may agree, and consider this gay bashing...maybe we ALL can change our wording a bit.

So I hope this alleviates the situation and I hope no one tries to "read" negativity into this as it is with good intentions.

Thanks guys.

quote:

7/12/2009, 11:27 am Link to this post Send Email to WesleyInman   Send PM to WesleyInman
 
bearmythology Profile
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Re: Gay Bears & Their Admirers Get Slammed: "Fat Guys That Call Themselves 'Bears'"


First of all, I love your sig, never. Reminds me of my way-too-emo-before-emo-was-a-term high school senior quote:

"Life is fantastic, magnificent, and wonderful, but no one said it would be beautiful."

Truly a quote only an intensely-closeted gay guy would write...

But back to my promoting violence. This was why I prefaced my post (and I wonder if I will ever be admitted in?) with a disclaimer that I won't be speaking on behalf of all gay men. The thing is, I will have to stick by those comments. The thing is, I am not literally condoning it. I am trying to provide a wish-fulfillment. If you read through their words, there's a sense of anger that they want to release. Now if they find themselves agreeing with beating up on obscene gay men, then that's their problem. They will do it either way, with or without my help.

Believe me, I am not really advocating violence (note how I did an unfortunate bad joke about it by making a pun out of "boner"). Again, if they do decide to do it, it's because they've been wanting to do it anyway.

Here's an example of a person who committed premeditated murder. The murderer was a heterosexual 14 years old and the victim was a homosexual 15 years old:

http://bearmythology.net/2008/03/03/ellen-degeneres-discusses-the-recent-tragic-death-of-lawrence-king/

This is what the news don't really focus on and I will mention it here. The victim, Larry, was openly gay (a term that I don't prefer, by the way, as it segregates us from the heterosexual population) and he was extremely forward with his sexual advances on his murderer, Brandon.

What does that mean?

Larry was openly flamboyant and very open with his attractions towards Brandon. Sounds familiar? Yes, he was a very "obscene and sexually-explicit gay teenager."

So how did Brandon resolve it?

Through murder.

He shot Larry in the head twice with a .22-caliber revolver.

Really, if instances such as these don't seep in to the minds of our homophobic brethren, then I suggest they do what they want to do with us.

- Take away our equal rights to marriage (yet they can get married AND get divorced -- what a great severance bonus package). Really, if marriage is so holy and sacred, why is there no law against divorce?

- Take away our rights to talk about our attractions (yet they're always flaunting their attractions)

- Take away our rights to adopt (yet they keep spawning while adoption homes are consistently filled with children)

Oh, that's right. They have either already taken those away or are working to do so. So what's the next step? Placing us in concentration camps or, better yet, skip the middle man and just f*cking kill us. Because you see, once we're all gone, none of you straight guys will create anymore future gays because we gays are borne out from... Oh sh*t, that's right, heterosexual couples.

<falls from soapbox>

---
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7/12/2009, 11:40 am Link to this post Send Email to bearmythology   Send PM to bearmythology
 
bearmythology Profile
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Re: Gay Bears & Their Admirers Get Slammed: "Fat Guys That Call Themselves 'Bears'"


Hi, Wesley, I sincerely thank you for coming here. And I thank you for talking with us.

quote:

WesleyInman wrote:
The reason I said it's the equivalent of "attractive women" is not because I am "in love with myself" as someone mentioned. If you took the time to read the post that I quoted it clearly said, this is what "hot" women go through every day. So this is what I was referring to, not in love with myself.



I'm pretty sure we all know that. Sometimes, in an argument, people find a different way to re-interpret a certain point to fit one's agenda. And, I guess it worked for us. And, yes, it was pretty devious. And with that, I completely understand that you were just making an equation.

quote:

WesleyInman wrote:
No one over at Marunde hates gay men. What you guys may not know about Strongman is its family oriented, and I have seen homosexual competitors, NO ONE CARES< everyone is very accepting. You see the majority of us are just fine with homosexuals and many of us have friends and are not discriminatory in any way shape or form.



I was actually at your forum when Mr. Marunde passed away. I would occasionally visit it as some forums I frequent would link to your forum. That's the thing, everyone is generally genial then I found a link to my page on a post titled "Fat Guys That Call Themselves 'Bears'." That in itself was already very insulting, and also a bit misguided because not all "fat guys" like big men nor think of themselves as bears. But that's a detail that's more within the knowledge of gay-folk, I suppose. Maybe if the title was "Gay guys who are blatantly sexual towards strongmen" I wouldn't have jumped in to it because it was being stated as fact. Read it any way you want, the subject header was already shedding "bears" in a very negative light.

But I do understand the aggravation. And I will get to that...

quote:

WesleyInman wrote:
The reason I am clarifying my post, is because in reading what I typed it does sound ignorant in my realization that all of you guys aren't this way,and I put it out there like you all are, so I am sorry.



You don't have to apologize but I am a lot relieved to know that you did not mean it that way. Thank you. ^_^

quote:

WesleyInman wrote:
On the other hand, to be honest with you, the 5-10 attempted "adds" I get per week from Bears and Homosexual men, several of them accompanied by a message such as "id love to suck your nipples", I would like to put my tongue in your asshole, "I can only imagine what your dick looks like" those are the messages I personally regularly see on my Facebook and MySpace accounts. I personally find it beyond disrespectful coming from a man or woman.

I know that several strongman have experienced this...So that's kind of the general consensus we are getting, because thats all we know and are aware of unfortunately for you guys.



That really blows. (Sorry for that failed attempt at humor.) emoticon Personally, I am deeply shocked that you guys get this a lot. And this is just coming from one gay guy, and I feel that the reason we do this is due to the fact that we are so repressed. I'm not justifying it, just pointing out a "possible reason" why we do this. I guess I just have more restraint than others because I don't feel the need to write that to someone. Perhaps it's the closest we can get to a "sexual interaction"? I really don't know. I mean, like me, we ache to be loved and be acknowldged by big guys, and fortunately/unfortunately (depends where you're coming from), strongmen are more visible to us, due to television and the internet. And as a gay-specific issue, it's not really easy to tell whether someone is gay or not. Again, this is not an excuse, but more of a a possibility.

It seems that strongmen are the only ones who are being harrassed the most. Last year, I had an incident with Boris Haraldsson's girlfriend which was my last year's "Strongmen versus Gay Bears" fiasco (I posted a video of Ralph Ber removing Boris' shirt during a televised ESPN Strongman event). (Man, will this be a yearly thing? Lol.) Or, it could be that strongmen are the only ones who are vocal about this abuse, while others are silent victims of these inconsiderate and obscene gay guys.

I may have to create a banner ad on my blog with something like this:

"Stop Sexually Abusing The Strongmen"

or a T-Shirt to wear at the strongmen competitions:

"Harass My Ass And I'll Bust Your Atlas Stones"

I may sound like I'm making light out of all this, but you have to admit, it's a little bit funny.

Just a little bit. emoticon

quote:

WesleyInman wrote:
But you guys are right, my post was out of line, because Im sure you are not all that way. Im sure there are plenty of decent "bears".



Thank you. And my apologies for my rude responses. I tend to have a lot of anger when it comes to criticisms about gay people.

quote:

WesleyInman wrote:
Strongman is a family, and Marunde Muscle was started by Jesse Marunde, a Pro Strongman who passed away. A born again Christian and very non judgemental person. He would not want negative connotation to his site, and the fact that my Post was part of it...I sincerely apologize.



I have sincere respect for the forum and Mr. Marunde. I have also great immense respect for Mrs. Marunde for keeping her husband's spirit alive with the forum. I am aware of Mr. Marunde's dream and goal with the community, and he's done a great deal just by my browsing through the discussions. A few negative comments do not make the forum a "bad place." And, I hope I did not make the forum sound like a place of homophobia, because it is not.

quote:

WesleyInman wrote:
Furthermore, strongman may be strong, but that doesn't mean we are violent and want to kick the asses of people who make these comments, or would ever raise a hand to anyone. Most strongmen are professionals and have families, and kids myself included.



Again, that is my sarcasm in hyperdrive. Although I find myself humorous, I'm starting to realize that I am the only one who find my "dark humor" remotely funny. Chalk it up for years of being in the closet. I still am. This is why I'm brave on the internet. I'm never this vocal in real life. And with that, I was not implicating that strongmen are violent in nature. It was my way to make a "scandalous point" on the nature of hate. I sincerely apologize.

quote:

WesleyInman wrote:
If I see a picture of myself, or a strongman does with sexually explicit messages, am I upset?? Sure. Does stuff happen? Yes, we aren't that weak and insensitive. HOWEVER, we want RESPECT, and talking about us or taking our pics without permission and then making obscene comments about them is part of the issue strongman have. Some strongman could give two damns at the same time. It has NOTHING to do with your sexuality. If women posted my picture on a Female site and made comments, very detailed comments on how they would like to suck my dick and finger my ass. I would be super offended likewise. I have a family and daughter, I dont want that bullshit anywhere and neither do the rest of the strongmen.

Long story short, please understand that as you guys want respect, we do too.



You are correct. You deserve respect. Now, the question is, as I've asked, how do we deal with this? It's almost like we need to have a Public Service Announcement for these gay people coming on to you rudely and disrespectfully. Unfortunately, these gay folk are probably people who are in need of guidance. With gay powers comes great responsibility. They need a guiding figure to help them in this world. Or we need a "Gay Book Of Etiquette." Hopefully, they end up reading these arguments/conversations and realize that their "harmless sexual explicitness" is not all that harmless after all.

LOL, what do you know? There is such a book:

http://www.amazon.com/Essential-Book-Gay-Manners-Etiquette/dp/006095079X

quote:

WesleyInman wrote:
I appreciate the posts and some of the members here who were very reasonable...Alot of you guys were non-judgemental and I can appreciate that.



You guys too. There were people in your forum that were very open-minded. They'd better watch out though. They're definitely going in my blog. emoticon

quote:

WesleyInman wrote:
No one condones gay bashing on our site. But as we all know freedom of speech and opinion reigns. Not everyone here may agree, and consider this gay bashing...maybe we ALL can change our wording a bit.

So I hope this alleviates the situation and I hope no one tries to "read" negativity into this as it is with good intentions.

Thanks guys.



Again, thank you. I know you guys don't condone gay bashing. As I've said, that was my sarcasm being used to make a point.

And, yes, you have greatly alleviated the situation. At this point, I have reached a closure of sorts. Again, thank you very much for your time. I feel like a human being right now. ^_^


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7/12/2009, 1:12 pm Link to this post Send Email to bearmythology   Send PM to bearmythology
 
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posticon Re: Gay Bears & Their Admirers Get Slammed: "Fat Guys That Call Themselves 'Bears'"


Thank you for accepting my apology and responding to my post.

I like the idea for a tshirt LOL. Your post was articulate and definently some good humor in it as well..

I do hope our forum can regain respect with you.

You know as a straight male, at least where I am from, there really is not as much hatred towards homosexuality as many see it?? I find many straight males to be very accepting if anything. Again, maybe in the area I am from which is pretty low key 100,000 people. I know this is not the same everywhere, but seriously alot of straight men just don't really care, to each his own.

But anyways, I did read some of your guys blogs, and it looks like you have a legit forum going.

Not to ramble but...

I noticed in one of the posts, someone mentioned something about heterosexuals and their songs, and how obscene they can be. I AGREE. I cannot stand some of the lyrics and will roll over in my grave before my daughter listens to that crap. I dont think all straight people condone this music by any means, it just happened to come from a straight artist??? And it's very much bad. I think this shows a bigger picture of our society. One thing that stands out for me, and before I had my daughter I think objectified women. No different then a "bear" objectifying a strongman or athlete. It seems that our society objectifies everything sexually??? Or maybe not everything, but it happens alot. I wonder if this is not part of the problem??

Anyways, long story short, I see alot of similarities between you and us regardless of our differences. You guys just want to be treated right, which I think you should be. It must be difficult to believe and be something that some people cannot accept, yet it is who you are. I hope you stand true to what you believe in and don't let the negativity get you down. Im truly sorry my comments came out that way. To let you know one of my strongman training partners is who told me I was wrong..So just to show you guys people are open minded and do respect your decisions.

Thank you for having me on your board, and respecting me here and my comments!!

Best wishes to you all.
7/12/2009, 6:57 pm Link to this post Send Email to WesleyInman   Send PM to WesleyInman
 
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Re: Gay Bears & Their Admirers Get Slammed: "Fat Guys That Call Themselves 'Bears'"


Well, I for one am glad this conflict has been addressed maturely.

And, I laughed at this:

quote:

With gay powers comes great responsibility



Nice Spider-Man reference. emoticon

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7/13/2009, 4:20 pm Link to this post Send Email to neveroddoreven   Send PM to neveroddoreven
 
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Re: Gay Bears & Their Admirers Get Slammed: "Fat Guys That Call Themselves 'Bears'"


Not a problem, Wesley. It's all mutual and I thank you. I mean, you were the only one who responded to me and it looks like I won't be admitted to your forum , but that's okay, at least someone cared enough to respond to me and to the small community that's here.

You are right about most people sexually objectifying everything. I don't think it's a bad thing, necessarily. But, like all things, there should be some type of moderation.

Not to defend gay folk, but it's the very nature of our culture of not having any outlet for our sexuality is the sole basis why heterosexuals might feel that we're overtly sexual. I don't know though, perhaps once gays are completely accepted, we'll have a lot of gay-friendly films where there is explicit gay sex (such as the explicit straight sex). I believe that that is the fear for most people. And while others are already afraid of their children's well-being for being exposed to straight sex, just imagine what will happen once gay sex becomes mainstream.

But I do have an opinion on that. This is why people are parents. You don't hide things from your children. They will see such things eventually. Remember, you are a parent and not a babysitter. Sure there's a lot to warn your kids about, but that is your job and duty. You explain things to them and not shield them from "very difficult topics." Because, ultimately, they will find them out on their own. Now would your rather have that or comforted in the knowledge that you have prepared them for such issues/topics? They will always find out (cue evil music).

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We are all, by any practical definition of the words, foolproof and incapable of error.
7/14/2009, 10:09 am Link to this post Send Email to bearmythology   Send PM to bearmythology
 


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